Friday, March 2, 2007

Hoser of the Week: Dick Vitale

Congratulations Dickie V, you've always been a hoser for your seemingly erotic affair with Duke basketball, but your actions this week were completely hoser-riffic.

Let this be a lesson to all you budding sportscasters, always make sure you know when you are on the air, and if you are about to do an interview, make sure you don't talk about anything until you are FAR away from the microphone. This past week Duke's #1 fan, while eating at a restaurant in Sarasota with a friend, was attempting to be a guest on a Knoxville radio show. While on the phone, Dickie V began telling his friend all about the professional ceilings of Florida's twin towers "Jo" Noah and Al Horford. "There is no way I'm taking Noah over Horford," he stated while he was unknowingly on the air. The bit went on for so long that he even mentioned Billy Donovan making a similar comment to him.

If there is one thing a journalist in Dickie V's position can't do, it's reveal something that a coach told him in confidence during the middle of the season while their team is in competition, and then vehemently deny it when there is audio evidence. Come on Dickie V, how long have you been in this business?

Normally, aside from your strange infatuation with everything Blue Devil, I can honestly say I find you entertaining. But this week, I'M AFRAID YOU'RE HOSETASTIC BABY!!!


Seamus O'Toole said...

Obviously this was not a one-time thing for Dickie V, that is, revealing something he was told in confidence. The fact that he did it in a "show-off" kind of way would be laughable were it not so hoserly. He must have accidentally pushed "Send" on his phone or something, which put him on the air unbeknownst to him.

Everyone's had it happen before: the inadvertent "Send" push that creates confusion on the other end of the line as the caller tries to figure out what's going on, all the while listening to whatever is going on in the background on the receiving end. The difference is most people to whom that happens, hopefully, aren't being complete and utter HOSERS at the time of the call. This was red-handed hoseration at its finest.

Stanimal said...

You know what I love about the Hoser of the Week?

Coming up with as many variations of Hoser as you can.