Monday, February 12, 2007

Hoser of the Week Nominations

Accepting your


Douglas James said...

Kevin Stallings for letting Vandy get lazy in their 6 days off before the UT game. I can handle the loss but were got was pretty embarassing
(Honorable mention to the organizers of the Houston Baseball classic. We went 3-0 including beating the #1 team in the country yet only got 2 players on the all tournament team. Check out Buster Olney's blog (Vandy alum) on for details)

Seamus O'Toole said...

Unless (a) this is a misquote or (b) he had just taken a Valium before asked to comment, I second that nomination:

"We have a pretty competitive group, but we didn't play well enough to do the job today."
--Kevin Stallings

84-57, coach. Well spoken...HOSER!

Anonymous said...

My runners-up this week included:

1) Mary J. Blige, a.k.a., The Woman Behind The Worst Tribute To U2 Of All Time (She just might be the most over-hyped pop star in the history of the universe. Seriously, I don't get it.)
2) Howard K. Stern, a.k.a., the not quite Mr. Anna Nicole Smith
3) Clyde "Bo" Pickler, a.k.a., Papa Pickler. (According to, Clyde, the proud daddy of former American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler, was arrested this week for allegedly assaulting his wife. He was released from prison in 2006 after serving seven years for stabbing one of his neighbors.)
4) Sean Taylor, a.k.a., **The Enforcer (Sean made a run at this week's HOSER by going out of his way to end a punter's career…in the PRO BOWL)
5) Brendan Haywood, a.k.a., The Cancer (I know I'm supposed to support all Tar Heels unconditionally, but Haywood is a fucking chump. His attitude is taking its toll on the Wizards and I won't have it. If Eddie Jordan wants to get this thing back on track, he'd be wise to throw Etan Thomas back in the starting lineup once his suspension is over. They need warriors out there who are going to play defense and rebound, not bitch about their playing time and take cheap shots at teammates during practice.)
**Courtesy of Eastern Motors

And my nominee for this week's HOSER is … Shavlik Randolph of the Philadelphia 76ers. Full disclosure, I've never been big on Shav because a) he played for Duke, and b) he sucks. But he earned my nomination this week for his recent ruminations on homosexuality. When asked about whether he'd feel comfortable sharing a locker room with a gay teammate, Shav said he'd be fine as long as he didn't have any "gayness" brought on him. Mike Wilbon correctly pointed out this week that it's particularly offensive to hear this from Shav, who throws his Christianity shamelessly at everyone he meets.

Then again, Shavlik's never really been known for his intelligence. I would encourage you to visit the great site,, and read the following piece about him:

Frankly, I hope Shav tears an ACL and gets shipped off to a team in Eastern Europe that plays in a red light district where he might pass a dozen gay hookers each day on the way to the gym. And then I hope they call him HOSER and other derogatory things when he fails to meet expectations and scores 4 points per game.


Bobby O'Shea said...

I am nominating A.J. Smith. He totally hosed Marty Schottenheimer, not only by firing him, but by firing when there are no other job options for him. You can't tell me that A.J. Smith didn't know he was going to get rid of Marty. Fine. You want to fire a coach who went 14-2 and who lost to a New England Patriots teams that is one of the most clutch teams in all of sports, that is your decision. But at least have the decency to fire him when it is possible for him to get another job in the NFL for next season. A.J. Smith is a hoser.

Stanimal said...

As good a nomination as that is, I'm gonna have to suggest that both he and Schottenheimer take a joint nomination.

Are you aware that the relationship between Schottenheimer and Smith had disintegrated so much that Marty had his ASSISTANTS speak with Smith? This team might have been 14-2 and loaded with talent, but the coaching situation was doomed for implosion. While Smith might have had his grievances, Schottenheimer is hardly innocent in all this.

Woody said...


If you haven't heard what he said on the Dan Le Batard radio show, go find it on ESPN. Here's a quick recap:

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

"First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team.

"And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that's right. And you know I don't think he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room. I wouldn't even be a part of that," he (Hardaway) said.

This was in reference to Jon Amaechi coming out.

One could argue that he's being honest but he still gets my vote for Hoser, Hoser.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to retract my nomination for two reasons:

1)I'm going to back Bobby here because I agree that Marty Schottenheimer really got hosed. I'm not debating Stan's assessment that Schottenheimer's social skills contributed to his demise. But good NFL businessmen never lose sight of the bottom line: winning games. And A.J. Smith just put his ego in front of his team's chances to win the Super Bowl, period.

Sure, Schottenheimer came up short this year. But consider the challenges he overcame to take his team to a 14-2 regular season record. His quarterback hadn't taken a meaningful snap in his entire career before week one. His best defensive player tested positive for steroids and missed about a quarter of the season. His offense put up insane numbers even though it still doesn't have a first class deep threat.

The whole thing kind of reminds me of when Jerry Jones pushed Jimmy Johnson out the door in Dallas just because the city wasn't big enough for the two of them. The difference here is that the Cowboys won two championships before Johnson was kicked to the curb.

2) Tim Hardaway, who one-upped Shavlik Randolph big time, and in a bizarre way, reclaimed his relevance in the basketball universe. This once bright star faded into oblivion during the winter of his career. Now he's going to be a hot-button item on the talk show circuit for weeks. I can't wait until the ladies on The View shred him to bits.

Good call Bobby. A.J. Smith it is. While I agree with Woody, I'm reluctant to nominate Tim H. because I'd like to see him return to obscurity as soon as possible.


J.B., M.D. said...

Even though I agree with the Stalling's comments, Tim Hardaway cannot get off the hook here. I mean, Really?!?


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